I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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