is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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