Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I look better un-naked...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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