she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
