Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
