Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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