just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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