I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
