Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
