Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
