Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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