yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
