If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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