I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
