I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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