Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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