Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
