Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
