my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
