# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
