I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
