its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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