Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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