my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
