HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
