He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
