you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
