jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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