I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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