ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
