Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
