I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Randomize
