I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
