i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
