You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
