oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
