Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
