What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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