found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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