uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize