Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
