break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
