Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
