i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize