he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize