im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
