DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
