I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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