So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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