it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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