Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
