He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
