First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
