I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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