I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
