Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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