I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize