It's like God shit irony all over that family
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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