I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
