Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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