fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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