I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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