Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
