I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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