I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
