i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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