Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
someone owes me an orgasm
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
