It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
